Monday, June 5, 2017

Feeling better.

Ok I'm feeling a little better today.  I don't feel as hopeless as I did yesterday.  I have a plan formulating in my brain. Most urgent things I need to do for myself...  

1.) Change my attitude from a I can't do this attitude to a I CAN do this attitude.
2.) Take my vitamins and supplements.
3.) Drink my water.
4.) Eat less.
5.) Move more.
6.) Take care of daily needs.
7.) Get my sleep.

I'll refine this as I go along.  For now this is enough.    If I just do the above that would be a great improvement in my life.

More to follow!!!

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Feeling Jealous...

Just don't think there is any place else that I can say how I feel today...I am JEALOUS!!!  Obviously I've been absent from posting for a long time!  It's been just about two years ago that I started having an adrenal fatigue issue and my fatigue level dropped drastically.   When it's really hit me, I was only able to do what I needed to do, like work, minimal house stuff and just a was able to do a few things. I was no longer able to run, life weights or anything. I became sedentary. And the only thing that kind of gave me energy was sugar. So guess what....I've gained 60 pounds back.

I worked sooooo hard to lose 94 pounds. I ran 10 half marathons and many other running event, I did a sprint triathlon and did the Hood to Coast relay event. And now.....I'm not able to do much of anything, but walk and even that is difficult as I just don't have the energy and I have pretty bad legs cramps...

I have been to the doctors and things are I proving. Buts it's been a very slow process....

Here's where I'm jealous. I'm seeing all of my race buddies posting their events on face book.....and my news feed is silent.  And I'm seeing people post all of their before and after pictures of their weight loss....of course these people are doing the same crazy diet that I did that got me into my fatigue's working for them,  but it was killing me......I almost want to go back on it again just so I could lose weight....but if I do, it will kill me.  My body does not like it!!

Then I'm seeing people who have had huge amounts of weight loss because of surgery.   Remember I'm jealous, so I maybe a little snarky, here goes....they took the easy way out...I know, I know it's not easy....but I worked soooooo hard for 5 years to lose those 94 pounds. I lost the first 50 my own, and then I used a pretty restrictive (very low calories) diet, Plus I did too much exercise to lose the rest and I wrecked my system.

Now I just have to wait and let my body heal, and take this slow.  Obviously I need to reduce my calories and get my body moving and I'm hoping I can get back on track soon.

I'm just jealous that it can't be easy for me.... I am so sick of the struggle, of things not working, or things that worked before are not working now, or that is takes so f,piping long to see results......

I'm sick of it all!!!!

Sorry for the rant, still don't feel any better. I hope to see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel...


Sunday, December 27, 2015


Really don't even know where to begin.....I guess I'll go back to summer 2014...I will be quick! I promise!!

Summer of 2014 I was in the best shape ever! I was at my lowest weight, at my fastest run pace and could not do enough, just not enough time in the day!! I competed in many running events, 5k's, 10k's, at least 2 half marathons and a sprint triathlon. Plus we were biking, swimming, boating, camping and all kinds of other things. I felt great!!

Beginning of fall 2014, I began to notice that I needed a little more sleep and I just did not want to do my beloved running any more.  I thought, well you had a very busy first half of the year and a crazy busy summer, you probably just need a rest. So I rested all the way through December 2014.

January 2015 I got back on my running training schedule and started working toward my 1/2 marathon that was scheduled in May. Mind you, I was still on the low calorie diet and had no energy while trying to do this training.

I was set up for 2 weight lifting days, 3 short runs during the week and then a long run on the weekend. Most weeks, I could get at least 1 short run done and hit or miss on the weight lifting....but I always got the long runs done. Early in my training, my long runs started at 3 miles and each week they got longer and longer until I would be able to run 13.1 miles in May.

As the 1/2 marathon approached, I was feeling the pressure...Oh my! I was not getting my mid week runs in, just too tired, and was pushing waaaaay too hard on the long runs. Unfortunately these long runs took about 3-4 days to recover from and I really did not have any gas left to get my mid-week runs and weight lifting in. Then three weeks before my race, I was pushing on a long run and injured the tops of my feet. Stupid me, never thought that I should just bag the race....nope I pushed through to the start line with inadequate training, no energy, injured feet and not quite ready to run 13.1 miles.

Race day came and I did 6 miles pretty well. At mile 6, my feet started to hurt and I had no energy to finish. At that point, I had a panic attack on the course. I was freaking out and wondering how I was going to do 7.1 miles to finish. I just did not think I could do it. It's never occurred to me that I could call my Hubby and he could pick me up. My only focus was getting to that finish line....even if I had to crawl....I was going to get there!!!! I was going to finish....and I did. It was not a favorable finish that was for sure, but I got it done.

After that race, I really tried to go back to basics and start over. I tried to set up a 5k plan and get a really good 5k under my belt and then move to longer distances. But I just could not make it happen.

Anything I did, it would take days to recover. You just can't train for distances only running 1-2 days a week.

I was frustrated!!!! What in the world.....just a few months ago, I could bike 65 miles, run 13.1 miles, swim for miles, and anything else I wanted to do and now, I could barely walk a mile. Just had no gas in the tank!

So I went to the doctor mid-September and they did the usual blood work and found that I was anemic, so they ramped up my iron intake. My last blood test mid-December showed that I was no longer anemic, but I have low iron storage, which is causing my fatigue.

I guess, according to my doctors notes, I have had low iron since 2011. But with the crazy low calorie diet and all the training I did the summer of 2014, I depleted my iron storage. I really did not have anything in my tank. I was depleted....

To my horror, my doctor told me to get off of the crazy low calorie diet and eat real iron-rich foods, they gave me iron supplements, restricted me from training and working with my personal trainer and ordered me to rest. Huh?

Needless to say, I did not handle that prescription very well. In fact, they were a little concerned for me and sent me to a behavior counselor to help me deal with the fact that I could no longer do what I wanted to do.  The counselor even told me that I was a "health freak" and I needed to get a little balance in my life. She and the doctors weren't sure if I would be able to go back to running and doing the activities I was doing and if that were the case, her job was to help me find something else to do.

Well bummer..............

So I did what I was told. I stopped the crazy dieting, I stopped running, stopped lifting weights, stopped swimming...I stopped it all.

Then I got a little depressed....OK a lot depressed and I started eating real food and gained 25 pounds back real fast! I did get a lot of rest, I ate my supplements, tried to move a little and gained 10 more pounds for my efforts.

So here I am......

  • I'm 35 pounds heavier....Now 70 pounds away from my goal.
  • Cannot run and I can barely walk a mile.
  • Lost a lot of my muscle.
  • Still have low energy. Thankfully I have more good energy days than bad....But high energy days can put me down for days.
  • Really no desire to get to the gym.
  • I have good food days, but I'm fighting the carbs. I did not have carbs for a year and a half and I'm having a hard time staying out of them...eating way to much!!

The thing is....there's a tiny glimmer of hope rising up in me! I may not be able to run the big races anymore, but I can walk. Even if it's not far...At least now, I want to do it. I want to try! I'm finally done with just eating what I want. I'm starting to crave broccoli and chicken...and other healthy foods. I'm beginning to remember to bring my water bottle. When I was healthy, I used to have one by my side at all times. When I was not feeling well. I did not bother with them. Hardly had any water at all. 

I'm no longer satisfied with the roly poly way my body feels right now. I miss my strong, fit body! I don't want to be a fluffy Grandma. I want to be a strong and fit Grandma and be able to keep up with my Grandbabies!!!!

The other thing I learned during this time was I need to be kind and gentle to myself. I need to listen to my body. If I can't do something, then I can't...for now.....I'm not going to push through. 

I want to rebuild my body the right way, with good healthy iron rich foods, I want to drink my water and move my body, doing what I can, and most importantly get my sleep!  I want to do this every day and work toward my ultimate health and fitness. 

So another set back ~ big deal. It's not going to get me down. I'm not giving in and I'm not going to quit!! I'm ready to get my health back!!!! 

Have a fit day!!

Friday, April 3, 2015

The Finish.....Day 2 & Day 3

Tough day.....tracked my food, but was over my calories. Forgot I was going out for dinner and did not plan well. Sometimes eating out for me, right now is not a treat. Even if you choose salad, you can  go over your calorie allotment. And the sodium....they must just load it up on everything.  I feel so bloated!!!

Did get my exercise in, and most of my water. Of course I did not blog yesterday. I worked all day and then went to my class until 10 pm. So when I got home, I was pooped!!!

Today, Day 3 is jammed again. I need to get our tax stuff together this morning then we are getting them done at 1pm. Then it's off to the grocery store, dinner out, again with friends....ACK!!!!' Then I'm going to a prayer event at our church from 7pm to 11pm. Of course there will be food and candy there.....for some reason our church LOVES candy!!!!!

So here's my plan. I'm fueling my body with good food all day and I will eat some protein before I go to dinner and then have a salad. And then for tonight. Should they have breakfast items, which they usually do. I'll have some eggs. And if they don't I'll drink a protein drink.  And I WILL be drinking a ton of water all day and night.

Eating events are tough and it seems when I'm trying to focus. I get invited to them....lots of them. I guess it comes down to planning and focus.

Wish me luck!!!!

How do you set yourself up for success when faced with social eating events?

Have a fit day!!!!

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The Finish....Day 1

Success! I got all of my goals done today!!  Recorded my food, a little above my amount needed for the day.  Ran 4.1 miles, got my water in, reached 10,000 plus steps, weighed and got my measurements. And I had a great attitude!!!

Tomorrows goals:

  1. Record food - stay under allotted calories,
  2. Drink water
  3. Run 3.1 miles 
  4. Get to bed on time
  5. Blog

I am really goal oriented....but the goals need to be listed, otherwise I forget what I'm supposed to do.

In the beginning of my journey I had great success. I lost a lot of weight, I was focused and I had fun.   I really did not stress about the results. I just did what I was supposed to do and it worked. I've been trying to get back to those basics. 

The key for to not stress about what isn't happening, but to focus on what I'm supposed to do. And really just do it even if I don't feel like it.....every day....consistently and with a great attitude!!!

So that's what I did today.  At 4:30am, I got up and ran.  Did not feel like doing it, but I did it anyway. Really did not have time to record my food or blog, but I did it anyway.  For me that is the key.  I just need to do it!!! 

How about you.  Are you struggling to get it together?  Just set you plan and make it happen!!! You can do it!!!!

Have a fit day!!!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Finish....Day 0....Confession and reality check!!

Started my 6th year of my weight loss and fitness plan and so far I've lost 96 pounds. I got my body moving and I've been active. I've competed in many running events and have been living my life... The truth all this living and training, I got tired and I've slacked off. And I've gained back ten pounds and now I'm behind in my training plan.  And I've got 2 half marathons coming in May and June and a sprint triathlon in July and I'm not ready.

The other thing is I'm about 40 pounds from my goal and I'm stuck....

So here's the deal. It's time to buckle down and get this done!!!

Here's tomorrow goals...

  1. Run 4 miles / log in 10,000 plus steps
  2. Drink my water 
  3. Track food and stay within calorie limits 
  4. Get to bed on time 
  5. Take measurements and weight 
  6. Blog results 

Part of my problem is I just don't "feel" like getting my training done or eating the right foods.  I've become quite lazy and I guess, bored.  The other thing is, is the finish seems daunting. 40 more pounds to go....which is so weird, because I've already lost 96. So 40 pounds should be a breeze, right?  

At this point it's a matter of focus and doing the right thing....even if I don't "feel" like it.

So tomorrow the journey to the finish line begins....

Are you having trouble getting to the finish line?  Do you want to join me and make it happen?  Let's do it!!!

Have a fit day!!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Girlfriends & Dudes ~ Sprint Triathlon

Last Sunday I competed in my first Sprint Triathlon!! I had a blast and exceeded my expectations. I thought I would finish in 2 hours and 15 minutes and ended up finishing in 1 hour 47 minutes - Swim (1/2 mile in 16.26 min), T1 2.39 min, Bike (12 miles in 47.36 min), T2 2.08 min, Run (3.1 miles in 39.52  min).  Think I did pretty well for my first one!

I did the event with my best buddy and trainer Brooke (love her so much!!). That's her on the left. I'm the one with the cheesy grin on the right. I tell you I could not smile enough that day, I was so excited!!

The thrill of doing something so outside of my comfort zone was amazing!!

Just a little disappointed that I still look so chubby, after losing 96 pounds. But my buddy Brooke said "Nobody looks good in a wet suit" I guess I trust her on that. I just don't like it. Oh well!

The event organizer Sherri McMillan sent us one of her favorite quotes:

 "What you get by crossing the finish line is not as important as what you become."  

What's most important is that when you cross that finish line, it positively impacts your whole life and changes you for the better in every way - physically, mentally and spiritually!  It develops your character, your self esteem and the belief in yourself. It gives you the strength to know that you can do anything you put your mind to!

I have noticed, now that I "live" my life and do things I never thought I would do, that when I "cross the finish line" on whatever I try, that it really does impact my life. I am changed and I am better in every way!!

I encourage you to set a goal and try something you never thought you could do. I mean something that's you've dreamed to do.  Make a plan, keep to it and cross that finish line!!! Trust me, you will have no regrets. It will change your life and you will become a better you!!

My next goal is weight loss!! I will lose another 30 pounds by the end of October. I've got my plan, I have my support group in place, I'm ready to go.....and most importantly I have my eyes on that finish line and I'm going to make it!!

Let me know if you are willing to take the challenge with me. It will change your life!!!

Have a fit day!!